Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Shhh...It's a secret!

I have something to write about...

Something that I've never told anyone before...

Except for the readers, well, you're about to find out what...

But before that...

Shhhh.....


Can you keep the secret?
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Another a year and a half...then I'll be graduating as a law student. (Insya Allah).

Honestly, I am surprised of myself for able to survive until now. I still remembered vividly the early times I enrolled as a law student. I always thought of a way to get out of it. I don't want to be in law. It's not an inch of my interest. I thought of exchanging courses often.




To tell the truth... I never liked law.

I had options...but I chose law.

Why?

Well...

Because the other option requires more than I could've imagined. And I don't want to be more burden to my parents. I have other siblings, they have their necessities too. The other choice is what I wanted. But it came with a price. A very high price. And at that time, I don't think it's right for me to accept it, even if I have already secured a place at the Institute.

Nope, I don't think it's a noble thing to do. I don't even know if that was the right thing to do. I just don't know. If I tell this to my family, they won't believe. I know, and I don't mind. I think it's better for them to think that I wasn't sure of what I wanted to do at that time than to think that I did it because I don't want to put more burden on them. It'll offend and hurt them really bad.

Nevertheless, there is always a silver lining in every cloud, regardless of how gloomy the cloud is. I started to see law at a different angle. It wasn't as manipulative as most people say. It's not a filthy way to make earnings for living. It's a good field, because it help those who are unable to speak for themselves.

Besides that, I learnt and grasps experiences that I probably didn't get if I go to another place. Although not extreme, but it is enough to open my eyes that everything and everyone is not what we expect them to be. I met wonderful people that decorates my life with warm, dark, bright and gloomy colours. Regardless of in what way they treated me, I still see them as a bless, because each and everyone of them carried a lesson worth learning and worth remembering.

I can't say I am very happy and satisfied with current situation. But I have choices, and I chose the least fancy one. Perhaps it's not what I wanted, but maybe this choice will bring something different and unexpected that can change my life. I just have to embrace it and make the best of it.

All I can certainly say is...

I am very grateful for everything...


1 comment:

-ilhamArman- said...

ur word speak for me..
honestly, LAW is not my 1st choice..
but i try to survive in dis field eventhough aku ada option lain.. so chaiyookk!!