Sunday, November 28, 2010


i'm having a love-hate relationship with my civil procedure subject.

i hate it for being so complicated, but i have to give attention to it as it gives an influence on my result this semester.

One part of me said 'padan muka, sapa suruh baca last minute!'
But another part of me, the bigger part i think said that regardless if i started a week or two weeks early, i'm going to have the same situation. that's just how my mind works. unlike evidence or jurisprudence where u can read the notes and create your own words to make it more understanding and easier to remember for the exams, civil procedure is all about procedure. you miss one step, the whole thing is wrong or unacceptable...coz that's not the way it works in practice.

At least evidence or jurisprudence u can goreng-goreng your answers as long as the message is there...
My mind never felt tired and heavy like this before. I had to stop and rest or I might spontaneously shout my heart out or just pass out in the room i kinda understand what it means when people say they have 'mind fatigue'!

So now, to sort of rest or cool down my brain from accepting too much load, I'm writing this post while listening to some sentimental music...josh groban, enya, and whatever songs I have in my laptop. Thought of listening to classical music that I have, but they sound sad and gloomy, not suitable enough. And I'll be watching some Shin Chan or My Wife and Kids to make me laugh....hope it helps to lessen the tense....haha....

I don't really care about doing excellent for this paper right now, all I want is to get this damn paper over and I can go out and watch movies and splurge with my friends right after it ends!

Saturday, November 27, 2010

civil procedure mcm chipsmore.

civil procedure is no joke people!
it is one hell of one complicated flow of procedures...and i just dont get it why they have to be that lengthy and complicated....
anakonda berlingkar pun tak secomplicated mcm procedure ni...
really gets me on my nerves...u know why?
because everytime i'm done with one step, and moving to the next one, i have the thought that i got the former locked safely in my memory box...
it managed to escape itself right after i divert my attention to the second and upcoming a cheeky little invisible mouse!
and i have to read them all over again...only to find out in the end that it is back to square one.
doesn't really make sense, i know
but what the heck.
i'm writing this down anyway, just to keep my eyes awake...gotta really squeeze everything inside by force, because tomorrow's the paper!
just as i thought i'm gonna do this paper better to cover up the previous three that i screwed up badly.
Guess this paper's going to be in that category too!
there goes my intention of doing my masters abroad...huhuhu...(picturing UK or US as I'm writing this down... ='(
oh well, what to do
ini je la yang boleh aku cakap: dah tak ada rezeki nak pergi belajar oversea...
sumpah statement pasrah!

p/s: why chipsmore? chipsmore kan sekejap ada, sekejap takde. Civil procedure ni pun lebih kurang la...sekejap ingat, sekejap lupa...or should i say; sekejap ingat, terus lupa!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

issue la sangat

credit from here that statement already? I felt the need to post about this coz it somehow relates to the issue I'm about to write about. (ayat macam isu serius je...heh...=p)

Well, took this from my tumblr blog. Asalnya aku amik dari sini, tapi aku reblog balik, so it doesn't really make a difference. The best thing about tumblr is that you dont have to bother thinking of how to write about something that shows the readers your exact emotion. Just grab a picture or quote and reblog it. After all, a picture speaks a thousand words, so jimat la masa nak tulis-tulis.

So this was regarding last holiday at home during Aidiladha. Time tu aku baru balik. Malam sebelum raya tu, tengah tlg cuci pinggan mangkuk periuk belanga semua...when dearest mum posed the question:
"Ada special friend ke?"

Eleh, mak aku ni nak tanya soalan cover-cover...cakap je la boyfriend, nak special friend bagai...hahaha....unexpected question. Ye la...time tengah cuci pinggan, tetiber tanya pasal tu. Tak ada kaitan pun. Kalau tanya pasal makan apa kat kolej time banjir tu ada la kaitan jugak..hee~

So aku pn jawab dengan jujurnya, "Takde pun." And she replied "Ye ke?" macam style adik aku selalu buat...pnjng skit harakat time dia ckp 'ye ke' i affirmed the answer. Tambah lagi ckp "takde orang nak", la...unless you are one feminine girl who doesn't walk like a dude. heh heh...and thankfully after that answer my mum kept quiet.

In relation to the statement above, I have to say that I'm in an exception case. That is when I read the statement written, NOBODY comes across my mind. Zero. The only think that crossed my mind is "who? siapa yang aku love?" macam orang blur giler.

I understand and know the reason why my mum asked that question. Bukan sekali tu je, malam esoknya pun dia tanya benda yang sama. She's worried. I'm in my 20's and don't have a special someone. Sekarang ni pun, dah ada dah kawan-kawan yang dah kahwin, dah bertunang semua. Padahal time muda-muda time sekolah dulu, diorang la yang buat group 'single forever'. hehe...Well, I think that it is not something to be so worried about. Of course, nobody wants to be alone, and no parent wants to see their children spend their lives alone in an empty house with cats as partners. And personally I don't mind being single. Not sure that is a good thing or a bad thing. I think it's because I don't have the courage to start another relationship, fear that it will be the wrong one all over again. Also, selagi aku rasa aku tak boleh jadi the best person i can be, selagi tu la tak teringin to be in a committed relationship. Sekarang ni pun, my self disciplined is not at a good level. Ibadah aku pun kurang lagi, banyak lagi aku nak kena belajar and ingat compared to other people. Alang-alang nak jadi someone's partner tu, jadi la yang terbaik, so takde la orang rasa regretful and not many issues will rise. That is how i think.

Tipu la kalau aku cakap aku tak pernah minat kat sapa-sapa. Nobody is 'love proof' ok. When it comes to the matters of the heart, no one is immune regardless of how cold or how cruel the attitude is. Kalau kejam kat manusia, mungkin dia sayang kat benda lain. Tu love la jugak tu kan? =p but minat tu tinggal minat macam tu je la. Just a crush. A crush which I think is not what true love is, although love can be blossomed from there, the possibility aren't many.

So, that's the issue. Takde la besar sangat pun, but I felt to write about this because it made me realized that I am now no longer in the adult teen environment. I'm getting nearer to real adulthood, where family, career and future are something serious that need to be paid attention to. Sekarang ni takde dah masa sangat nak tengok Shin Chan hari sabtu pukul 7. Tak boleh sangat dah nak main-main or buat gila-gila depan orang tanpa rasa segan. And tak boleh dah nak depend kat parents untuk tolong selesaikan masalah yang kita buat secara sengaja atau tak sengaja.

p/s: to dearest mum, kalau jodoh tu lancar ada la tu. In the mean time, I'll try o improve myself. And kalau nak sangat ada grandchild, doa-doakan la jodoh adik-adik cepat sampai. Tak kisah diorang langkah bendul! LOL!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

exam banjir unstoppable

had 3 exams consecutively...
what a great way to welcome the exam month
needless to say that i am not fully satisfied with my answers
a normal expression from someone who studied last minute...hehe

keadaan ni slalu terjadi: soalan mcm pernah baca tapi tak ingat yang mana satu. Time tu mula la geram and marah kat didri sendiri sebab baca last minute. At the end of exam, mcm menyesal pulak and mula pikir 'kalau aku baca lebih awal sikit, mesti boleh jawab'

anyways, the three days dont just past without nothing...some interesting events occurred...which I dont know whether to consider it as a blessing or a challenge...(cobaan...!)

-it started with nervous and total unprepared-for-exam feeling. while waiting to enter the exam hall, received news that i had a flat tyre! Didint know about it at all..and i drove 3 km from college to campus with a flat tyre at my front passenger seat! hahaha.... Got distracted of course, and after the exam ended, I was so rushing to check on my car that I left all my notes! Tengah bingung nak pikir camne nak repair tayar...then suddenly help appeared! Two foreign students saw us sturggling to change the flat tyre and offered to help. Bless them!!! Felt so thankful indeed. kalau tak mau berjam-jam kitorang kat situ nak tunggu tuakr tayar...perempuan katakan...tak sama kekuatan dgn laki...huhu....after it was done, I straight away went to the nearest workshop and have the tyre fixed and mended. To the two guys...I didnt get to know your name and didnt get to repay you, but i will remember you for your kindness and sincerity to help. Allah je la yang boleh balas jasa korg berdua! =)

-Nothing interesting happened here. Only that the questions that came out are rather unexpected! frust jugak time jawab exam. lepas tu mula la buat kiraan congak tengok brapa byk markah hilang....huhu...sumpah gaya orang pasrah...haha...the day ended with nothing interesting or unexpected happened. But I got kinda paranoid after the flat tyre incident, that I checked all tyres before driving.

-perhaps the exam where I crapped on my answer sheet the most! Hello, its jurisprudence. And I know it's an interesting subject, but considering I just gone through 2 law papers; evidence and professional practice, the effect is not doing good for my memory. Despite reading many time, I cant seem to make the point stick in my memory for at least until the end of the exam. But I tried to soothe my feeling, saying to myself that it is jurisprudence, that there is no one definite answer...hahahaha...(another 'pasrah' expression). After the exam, we decided to go catch Harry Potter movie (yeah, I havent watch it yet!) but then the cinema has not released the movie until this coming thursday...whaaa??!!) abut i still want to go out, at elast out from the uum and changlun territory. Plus I have things to buy, so we headed to Jitra. Had KFC for lunch and spontaneously decided to watch 'Unstoppable'. In my opinion, that movie was worth my RM10...hehe...ok la tu. Takde la boring sampai aku tertido ternganga dalam panggung!). We drove back to college after shopping for food and other necessary items. On the way, it started to rain. I already guessed that, seeing the sky was gloomy. But what I didnt realise was that as we were about to reach college, we had to stop. Why? Road closed due to flood! Air bertakung sampai paras lutut!!! It seemed that it has been raining for like 4 hours in uum and changlun area. (ingatkan hujan kt jitra sebab fenny!) So we patah balik and went to campus instead. Punya la risau tak dapt balik kolej, sampai plan nak bermalam kt uni inn...dlm hati masing2 risau sebab tak cukup moolah! huhuhu....after an hour or so, we decided to drive back, hoping that the road is cleared. Alhamdulillah, jalan boleh lalu, and we reached college safely. Experience yang challenging sangat.

Now, there's 3 more papers left before the declaration of independance can be made. Hope I wont screw up the remaining paper as I screwed the previous three!

sekarang ni tengah pening kepala sebab kena hujan. Banyak lagi nak cerita sebenarnya, tapi tulis sampai sini je la. Ni pun dah panjang, tak larat nanti nak baca... Lol!

Thursday, November 18, 2010


the first time i went to watch 'korban' was when i was about 8/9 year-old
my younger brother and i were following dearest dad
at that time, i thought sembelih lembu is like sembelih ayam...main potong-potong, or potong-potong plastisin play doh dgn pisau plastik...biasalah budak-budak taknak tunjuk diorang takut...hehe
then i stood along in the crowd, watched all the procedure, from bringing down the cow to tying the cow's legs and laying down the cow, to get it prepared for the 'korban'
i remembered the cow was white...
and the moment the sharp blade slit the cow's throat all i saw was red blood...and the cow's reaction (sapa2 pernah tengok faham la kan...susah la mau explain..=p)
luckily for me i was quite far, so the blood didnt splutter and hit me on my clothes...

and that first time was the last time...
not because i was afraid, but i just cant stop picturing the image, even before it began
i didnt cry while watching it...didnt even have the time to feel sorry for the cow
i was more stunned and speechless, really
didnt even realize my little brother was not there...(dia pergi main kejar-kejar dgn kawan dia, tinggalkan aku sorang2...huhu)
maybe because i was afraid i will overreact if i watch it now...mana tau tetibe terjerit, padahal org blm start sembelih lagi...haha

this year, i managed to celebrate it at home, Alhamdulillah
enjoyed being at home, mainly because of the good food
well, you'll understand if you have to feed on maggi cup and eating at warung because your place has no other place to look for food
home cooking is the best!
but that doesnt take my mind off of my final exams which will start next sunday
and all i have to say is
i am so not prepared...despite that i've read the notes and cases given
usually i'll be freaking out and later forgets about it, but this time, it's haunting me!
cant even sleep well
too scared...kept thinking what if i fail my exams because i am so unprepared!
and i've never felt this paranoid before!
Ya ALLAH please give me strength!

tomorrow i will be heading back to uum
something i feel so heavy to do
for one thing i dont want to face the fact that the exam is in 3 days!
another is that i hope to stay a day longer so i can watch movie with my youngest brother
he wants to watch Megamind instead of Harry Potter (what???)

and something else occurred during my stay at home...hehe
nothing big, but it is an issue for me
but i think i'll save the story later...
goodnight y'all!!!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

exam mode on!

note: this aint the notes for this semester's subjects...just to show the exam!

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

confession of a banjir victim

actually, not really a banjir victim...=p
saja je nk bagi tajuk mcm tu....considering the fact that that is the topic most discussed right now, apart from!

well...i am still staying in college, refuse to go back for fear that if i do, i'll be stuck in the middle of the highway due to the flood water not receded completely...yup, i'm not a big risk taker when it comes to situation like this...especially involving long drives and cars...
bygkn kalau tgh drive balik ipoh tetibe keta xleh lalu sbb air banjir blm surut...arghh...
i know...i'm being paranoid...
anyways...i'm still not sure whether i should go home for aidiladha...still need to grab the courage...=p

right now, the college is quiet, and my block only have a handful of students staying faithfully here...its quite a survival test, since the cafe is closed due to shortage of food supplies...we had to buy food supplies (mostly maggi and bread and biscuits)...which dont even last for a week...=p but thankfully, things are getting better here...and having the quiet condition makes it easier and more condusive for students to study for their finals...
something i should be doing right now.

i have a goal this semester...well, i always have a goal everytime the exams are approaching.
but i think this semester the enthusiasm seems to be higher than other terms...
i really have to thank this one dude for giving me advice and support...telling me to stay focus on what i want to do in future...
'grasp them tight and keep a strong will at heart, and you can achieve it'
thats what he said to me...and despite not knowing me, he felt certain that i can excel...
now, not many people ever said like that to me...excluding my parents of course
and having him saying that really made my day...i really appreciate that from him
its as if apart from my family, there's something that actually believes in me...
i dont care if he's just saying that and not meant it, his words is enough to give me courage...and determination.
i will try my very best...harder this year...and hope that it bears better fruit than previous semesters...i may not see him or chat with him again...ever, but thanks for the positiveness and for believing in me... =)