Saturday, April 16, 2011

shush! In the name of Peace.


I like this one quote by Madame Giry, a character in the Phantom of The Opera. When she tried to warn Joseph Buquet to be careful of what he said about the Phantom, she said, or sing, in this situation 'Those who speak of what they know find too late that prudent silence is wise'.

Yeah, I agree with that. Prudent silence is wise. If you can't say anything smart from your mouth, might as well keep quiet, zip your mouth tight. Don't say a word.
Normally this principle is best applied in a situation where you're in a bad mood, or in an argument or in a stressful situation and you feel like punching everyone's faces. Of course, when you're angry all the negative elements will be surrounding you like bees surrounding honey. You start to find the faults in everyone; one is being so nosy, one is being an irritating chatterbox, one is being annoying, all those things will suddenly appear out of nowhere.

For some, they find it better to express the feelings out. In most cases I see, they'll be expressing them out in an angry attitude, shouting, and blaming others, or in some situation, being cynical or sarcastic, or throwing tantrums, like throwing things, and kicking the furniture, anything that can make them release all that angry emotion that's in them. Now, I'm just saying this in my own perspective. I don't really like such approach. From what I've seen, hardly anything good comes from it. It usually ends up with the other person getting hurt or offended, and it just makes matters worse. Sure, it makes you feel good, but it leads to another issue, which if left untreated, will be long or never ending. Like a saying 'nothing can ever be solved if you fight fire with fire'. True enough. A quarrel or an argument will only satisfy one person; the person who wins the argument. And the other one will be left hurt, and when there's hurt in a person's heart, it's not easy to heal. Even if it's healed, it leaves a scar. Or for some people, they don't forget. (your truly?)

So I find it easier to learn to try and coax the heart first. Say to yourself 'you're angry, you're mad, try not to say anything silly in this sort of emotion. cool down first,'. because I find that all the words I said out when I'm angry or in a bad mood are the words that I really regret saying them out loud. It's an awful feeling. Try to distract the feeling by doing something else. Go out for a walk, put on your headphones and turn on the music to its maximum volume, or sleep. My teacher chose ironing clothes when she's in a bad mood or feeling stressful. And when someone tried to strike a conversation with you, even if you're not in the mood to talk, don't snap at them. Take a deep breath, teach your heart to be patient, control the anger, the voice volume, the tone, and try to reply them as cool and as kindly as possible. People know when a person's in a bad mood, it's like a heavy, cumulonimbus cloud is right above your head. You'll have this gloomy, 'constipated' look, like you're thinking about something too hard. They wouldn't want to bother a bad mood person unless they have something important or necessary to say.

Don't think about how good it feels to win an argument. I know it feels really good, especially when you proved someone wrong, at that time that was like the best feeling ever! yeah, of course it is, for the moment! Then what? Nothing! Life goes on normally, the next day you'll be talking or laughing with the same person you argued with. No point, well, except to make things clear, but for that, you don't need to have an argument, slow talk is enough. In some situation, it is best to be the one backing out. Mengalahlah kalau dalam bahasa kebangsaan Malaysia. Sure, it makes you feel like you lost, or makes you look like you're the one at fault. But think like this, 'somebody has to grow up, and end this ridiculous issue. Obviously it wasn't that person, so why not you? It won't harm you. Later on, you'll find yourself to be more capable in handling your patience and your heart.

But if you still can't get it out from your chest.....scream!! take a pillow and screammmm as loud and as long as you want to. Or find a place where nobody's around and let your heart out!

And if that still doesn't work, there's Facebook! write a status. Or blogger, write a post, or Tumblr, reblog pictures describing your mood and emotion.
There's always a better way!

p/s: so, if ever anyone see me quiet and distant after reading this, you know what it means. ;)

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