hello love

Salam Maal Hijrah to all!

Hope it's not too late to wish...(padahal baru masuk hari kedua bulan Muharam)
bila dengar Muharam teringat pulak kat Ahmad Albab and the dialogue:
"Ni Muharam? Muka pun macam bulan,"

hahaha...time tu i don't really know the relation of the month of Muharam and why he said the dude's face is like a moon...budak kecik mana faham sangat...kalau faham pun malas nak explain...heh

So, it's the new beginning in the Islamic calendar. It's a shame, I know the months and number of days from January till December, but I don't have such similar knowledge and awareness towards the Islamic calendar. I only know it is from Muharam till Zulhijjah but don't have a clue how many days that one month consist of...

Anyways, a new year means new resolutions...
I don't really do new year resolutions, be it in the early month of January or even in Muharam, because I have this awareness and consciousness in myself that I won't be able to carry the resolutions that I made and having it fulfilled. Not that I haven't tried, it just didn't work successfully as I anticipated.

But I decided to do a few resolutions this year...
consider it as an experiment...whether I'm committed enough in doing what I planned to do.
I'd like to consider this resolutions I'm about to make as a self improvement.
Of course, some have resolutions to be more social friendly and saving the world and all that, but I realised I have issues with myself. How I feel so insecure about myself and how most of the time I don't appreciate and underestimate my own capabilities.
How can I have people to respect me and to treat me well when I don't do so towards myself right?

So, here are the so-called resolutions:
-be more honest to yourself. If something's not cool, admit it. Don't pretend and make a sunny teletubby cheerful face saying that 'it's alright' when deep down you find it otherwise.
-be more open or liberal. In the context of expressing your thoughts and feeling. Don't think what others will think if you say what u want to say.
-reduce the procrastination attitude. Let's be honest. I don't think I can erase permanently that attitude. But at least I can force myself to reduce it.
-please be more industrious. In managing myself, particularly. hahaha... I was thinking of my laundry waiting to be washed and my study table waiting to be tidy up as I'm writing this. Yeah, I'm bad in doing household chores.
-Control your expenses. This, I can say I managed to deal with it well already... Quite well.
-Don't be a gossipy bitch. Hahaha...I don't want to be a hypocrite. I gossip. Talk behind backs too. A friend of mind even said that I can make a blog like that in Gossip Girl. And this is one resolution I really want it to be fulfilled.
-Optimism is key. I find it very hard to stay positive. Even when I manage to be one, at the end of the day, there's always something that rinse it all off from me. Damn, my confidence is still at a moderate level. And I don't want it to stay like this forever.

Well, those are the resolutions. Sort of. I believe I still have some that I don't put it down here, but i cant seem to recall them. Oh well, these 6 resolutions alone will be difficult to fulfilled. I think I should take it one step at a time.
yeah, no resolutions mentioning about relationships or whatsoever. Not really my primary concern right now.
I think that until I manage to really like and love and be satisfied with every aspects of my body inside and out, that particular matter is to be put on hold. Probably for quite a long time. (sorry mom, if you ask about 'any special friend' again, my answer will still be negative... =p)