hello!

to 2011!

i'm sure everyone has their own plans to celebrate the New Year...

As for me, well... I just prefer celebrating it with my family, at home, eating pizza together while watching some movies...hehe...not really a type of person to party and celebrate.

i only have one resolution this year...

SELF IMPROVEMENT!

let's just hope it goes well...

Ok lah

need to go get ready...I'm meeting some friends here...
it's been so long since i last saw them
hope they are excited to see me as i am excited to meet them!!

Happy New Year everybody!

Toodles! =)

The BEST Burger in Kuching!

Hehe...

malam-malam hujan ni memang nikmat sangat kalau makan burger. Dan-dan pulak mkn sambil tengok tv...drama masak lomak cili api...hehehe... XD

I just had the best burger I've ever tasted!

Burger ni sumpah sedap ok! jauh lebih sedap dari mana-mana burger yang pernah aku rasa. Sebelum ni, ada la jugak a few burger stall yang aku s

uka makan. Kalau kat Kedah tu, burger kat Jitra Mall yang

aku suka, sebab roti dia lembut macam burger McD, and patty dia pun nicely made. Then kat UUM plak, boleh kata majority students akan ckp bur

ger kat DPP MISC. Bagi aku personally...ok la rasa dia. Tapi takde la sampai tahap 'wow!'. Frankly speaking, aku lagi suka makan burger yang orang jual kt tepi-tepi jalan or dkt stall instead of burger kat McD and Burger King. Those burgers don't suit to my taste at all, albeit being international...

So, apa yang special sangat kat burger Kuching ni?

hehe..ni la burger dia..nmpk mcm biasa je kan? jom kita tgk kt dalam dia...

jeng-jeng! voila! ada nanas! and another special thing is the patty is homemade. Bukan segera, so rasa dia memang lain dr yang lain. Dging dia memang rasa. Lembut and juicy! Lgi satu, dia tak pakai minyak sangat, so it's healthy. Kita makan pun senang je sebab tak berminyak. Sos dia tak letak banyak tapi masih dapat rasa, added with black pepper which is also minimal, so it didn't have the overpowering taste. Ada sesetengah burger banyak sangat letak black pepper, sampai tak dapat rasa sangat daging burger dia. Nanas tu pulak dia bagi rasa tambahan, ada mixture of sweet and sour, give some juiciness in the burger. Memang feeling gler la bila makan ni... Burger ni semua rasa dia seimbang, dapat rasa daging burger, nanas, black pepper and sos. Oh, and another thing, they have melted cheese kt layer bawah. Yup, for burger biasa. So kalau sapa yang order burger cheese tu, means you have an extra cheese for free!!

this is benjo cheese....!!

So, for those yang kat Kuching and teringin nak rasa burger ni, boleh pergi ke Simpang Tiga. The burger stall's name is Take Away..hehe...another reason why I like it! Come to think of it, memang itu pun sebab kita order burger ye tak? ye kan je la...huahuahua!! anyways, it's situated kat Simpang Tiga, opposite Swinburne college, and at the same row as this one Restoran Cili Api. Tapi kena datang awal, sebab ramai sangat orang yang order. Kalau tak ramai pun, sorang tu boleh sampai order 10 bijik, nak bagi makan orang kat rumah, or maybe for their friends yang malas nak tunggu. hehe...

fear is a factor to me

People say what has passed remains as the past. When we think that our performance was not satisfactory, we will coax ourselves to not think about it anymore. Let bygones be bygones, they say.

In my capacity as a university student, those statements are what I normally said or heard from friends after we sat for the exams. However, even if I managed to clear out all those problems away, the history will come to haunt us again, and what is worse, it comes in the form of a result transcript!

I am feeling very terrified everytime I thought about how my results will turn out to be. I didn't perform really well for this semester's final exams. Hell, it's my worst! It was really bad! Everytime I thought about it, I fear that I will fail more than one subjects, and I am afraid the most unable to graduate. I don't want to extend, it'll more burden on my parents. And I'm sure they will be very upset and disappointed in me.

I don't think I have the courage to look at my results.

Etes-vous l'un pour moi?

Dear boy,

I'm just a normal girl, with imperfect skin and I'm still dealing with so many issues with myself. My skin isn't like porcelain dolls you see being displayed in the mall, and it is not even close to those beautiful models you watch on tv. I'm still struggling with myself to be a better person, and if there is one hardest thing to do, it is to improve. I don't have a brilliant mind. I have to work hard to achieve good results so I can have a good promising future ahead. And so the stress and tensions is how I got the blemishes and the dark circles under my eyes.

So, if perfect's what you you're looking for, then clearly I am not the one for you. I'm human, and humans all have imperfections, including you. But it's an adventure, I am grateful with what that has been given and I don't want to be perfect because it will be boring.

"when Allah knows you're ready for the responsibility of commitment, he'll reveal the right person under the right circumstances. Wait patiently. Don't waste your time searching and wishing. Grow and be ready, you'll see Allah will give you a love story far better than you could ever dream of"

I got this from this wonderful tumblr blog. The words makes me feel more certain and sure of myself. It makes me feel more relieved. And it makes me feel that it is a good thing and answers the question to why I am still single. I feel more assured with myself as a single girl.

I do need more time. I do need to grow up and to be more matured. Allah knows far better than me that I am so not ready yet to start another relationship. Of course, there's crushes here and there, but none sparks the intention inside of me to be in a relationship.

I still have doubts about having commitments. Maybe to some it's okay to have some relationships before getting completely serious on only one. But I don't think I can be that person. I am still feeling insecure about myself. Time is needed for me to love myself more before I can love someone else. If I ever want to be in a relationship again, I'd want it to be the right one.

hello love

Salam Maal Hijrah to all!

Hope it's not too late to wish...(padahal baru masuk hari kedua bulan Muharam)
bila dengar Muharam teringat pulak kat Ahmad Albab and the dialogue:
"Ni Muharam? Muka pun macam bulan,"

hahaha...time tu i don't really know the relation of the month of Muharam and why he said the dude's face is like a moon...budak kecik mana faham sangat...kalau faham pun malas nak explain...heh

So, it's the new beginning in the Islamic calendar. It's a shame, I know the months and number of days from January till December, but I don't have such similar knowledge and awareness towards the Islamic calendar. I only know it is from Muharam till Zulhijjah but don't have a clue how many days that one month consist of...

Anyways, a new year means new resolutions...
I don't really do new year resolutions, be it in the early month of January or even in Muharam, because I have this awareness and consciousness in myself that I won't be able to carry the resolutions that I made and having it fulfilled. Not that I haven't tried, it just didn't work successfully as I anticipated.

But I decided to do a few resolutions this year...
consider it as an experiment...whether I'm committed enough in doing what I planned to do.
I'd like to consider this resolutions I'm about to make as a self improvement.
Of course, some have resolutions to be more social friendly and saving the world and all that, but I realised I have issues with myself. How I feel so insecure about myself and how most of the time I don't appreciate and underestimate my own capabilities.
How can I have people to respect me and to treat me well when I don't do so towards myself right?

So, here are the so-called resolutions:
-be more honest to yourself. If something's not cool, admit it. Don't pretend and make a sunny teletubby cheerful face saying that 'it's alright' when deep down you find it otherwise.
-be more open or liberal. In the context of expressing your thoughts and feeling. Don't think what others will think if you say what u want to say.
-reduce the procrastination attitude. Let's be honest. I don't think I can erase permanently that attitude. But at least I can force myself to reduce it.
-please be more industrious. In managing myself, particularly. hahaha... I was thinking of my laundry waiting to be washed and my study table waiting to be tidy up as I'm writing this. Yeah, I'm bad in doing household chores.
-Control your expenses. This, I can say I managed to deal with it well already... Quite well.
-Don't be a gossipy bitch. Hahaha...I don't want to be a hypocrite. I gossip. Talk behind backs too. A friend of mind even said that I can make a blog like that in Gossip Girl. And this is one resolution I really want it to be fulfilled.
-Optimism is key. I find it very hard to stay positive. Even when I manage to be one, at the end of the day, there's always something that rinse it all off from me. Damn, my confidence is still at a moderate level. And I don't want it to stay like this forever.

Well, those are the resolutions. Sort of. I believe I still have some that I don't put it down here, but i cant seem to recall them. Oh well, these 6 resolutions alone will be difficult to fulfilled. I think I should take it one step at a time.
yeah, no resolutions mentioning about relationships or whatsoever. Not really my primary concern right now.
I think that until I manage to really like and love and be satisfied with every aspects of my body inside and out, that particular matter is to be put on hold. Probably for quite a long time. (sorry mom, if you ask about 'any special friend' again, my answer will still be negative... =p)

ka-ching!

I don't like asking money from my parents.

Don't like it one bit.

For one thing, I know that money don't grow on trees. Like you can just pluck it from any tree you found on your way and use it for your needs. Hell no, it doesn't work or made that way. And another thing I understand how hard it is to earn money, and how easy it is it slips out from your hands. More slippery than any soap or eels in the ocean (bad examples...what the heck eh?) How easy to spend them all in a day. In some cases involving shopaholics, half a day, maybe. I'd like to make my own money and use it for my own personal use. But it's kind of difficult to do that since I'm studying and my parents don't allow me to work while studying. Still, I had a small online business selling clothes, where I form a partnership with one of my classmates. The profit is not much but it's okay, it's satisfactory. I'm really bad in math, so I don't really know how to juggle with money, maybe if I have some skills, we can have more profit...heh.. And my parents know nothing about this. Yet. Hopefully they won't find out.

But still, I have to admit, and I'm kinda ashamed to admit that I still have to depend on them whenever the loan money's amount is getting smaller. Ain't no cheap books in law studies. With thick books come big value, and plus with all daily needs and assignments and notes, and with the fees deducted from the loan, I have to say that students receiving ptptn loans aren't 'rich' after all. They're only rich in the first few months.

I always try to avoid asking for money. Even when there's only RM50 or in my worst case scenarion RM10 left in my bank account. I just don't like the feeling of guilt and awkwardness that I feel whenever I asked them for it. It's a very unpleasant feeling. But then, when they found out I have no sufficient amount of cash needed for a month stay here, they got angry for me not telling. And eventhough my intention is that i don't want to always be a burden, they say it's no burden at all, since it is their responsibility.

I cannot take it for granted now, can I? yeah, it's a responsibility but I can't just use that as an excuse. I tried saving the money, but it always failed. I don't really spend a lot now compared to the past, but still I find myself in shortage of money. All that I ever spend mostly on is food. I can't study if I don't eat. And when I study more, the quicker I get hungry, and the food supplies just finish faster than usual. Other than that, I've been restraining myself real hard not to buy other things.

People always say money can't buy happiness. But in this time, in this type of world we're living right now, that phrase is no longer completely correct. You can't be happy knowing that you don't have enough money to support the family. And you feel really bad to ask from your parents despite the fact that you really need it. In my way of seeing things, even if they already gave me, I feel bad inside knowing that the money they gave could've been used for my younger siblings who need it more than I do.

for those who think that i'm trying to be a goodie goodie girl, i'm not. I'm really feeling effing *fucking* miserable and guilty right now.