pfft!

crazy life these past few weeks...

busy...lazy...moody...you name it

and currently pissed and annoyed of the internet connection that is so slow macam siput pig...hello, can't you just go a little bit faster??? I really hate waiting and unable to watch Glee's latest episode really kills me!

anyway...speaking about kill...

had a mid term test just now...criminal procedure...

and hell yeah....I killed the paper!

not in a good way....i totally blew it off!

well...serves me right actually...for being unprepared...nobody to blame but myself...

but unable to do my best for test is not the thing that ticks me off tonight.

What really ticks me off....

are those who nonchalantly sneaking a.k.a copying from books...not just that...they pretend that they're actually thinking and doing the test when they are actually getting 'extra' help the back way... like it's no big deal...

hell yeah it's a big deal!!!

it's damn unfair! especially to those who really studied and prepared for the test...and it's most unfair and exasperating when u got off the hook! the lecturer didn't notice and then voila! in a few weeks or a months later, you will see you name next to a high score for the test...

of course...you'll be happy...and everyone will say...'wow...you're good,' 'pandainya kau...aku dapat sikit je,' when in fact you don't deserve the marks at all.

a big chicken egg or dinasour egg is what you deserve.

a friend of mine said..."takpe la...yang penting berkat, bukan markah"

not that I don't agree with him, but how many of us here gives a shit about berkat? It's what present that determines the future, but they don't think that way. People don't see implied 'berkat' we get, what they see is the marks shown and that's what they believe. That's where they make an impression from. Despite knowing that it's wrong, they still do it nonetheless, because they think first of people's impression rather than the 'berkat' they could've received.

Ah...but why am I blabbering for? Who would give a shit anyway? They'll be like 'oh, don't be mad or jealous at us because you don't have the guts to copy,'. Yup, perhaps I'm a coward, but at least I'm a coward with dignity. And I am ready and willing to accept the loss and failure that comes from my own action. That I think is what bravery really is in this situation...

But what the heck right? who would listen to me anyways? Just a grandma story that people read when they're bored....

whatever.

~wee~

I have Tumblr!!

And seriously getting addicted to it...

Love all the photos and quotes!!!

Hope I can make some just as wonderful as them.... =)

do have a visit to my tumblr blog...but be nice...since I'm a newbie...ahaks!!! =p

S.I.C.K

No, not that kind of sick...

no coughs, no flu, no fever, no pms or whatever....

just feeling sick.

SICK!!!!!!

for no reason why, this feeling suddenly came.

well, it's about time though...

lots of things....craps...shits (if i choose to write it out the way i feel right now)...happened and is happening...

perhaps when they happened, i was emotionless...didn't think of anything but to get it sorted out and be done with it.

now that it's coming back to me...i really feel so sick right now.

or in other words....

i'm just tired.

No, not exhausted

Tired...fed up...I'm done...that's enough...kind of tired.

sometimes when we thought things are going fine and going smooth....it turns out to be something that the mind made up as a diversion...to make us feel like everything's fine.

the mind lied. to its very own body.

nothing is EVER fine in the world.

though i always hear people say that the best way to live life is to think positive...deep down inside there's still doubt...

sometimes being too certain about something can cause bad ending....because that is the ending that is least expected.

when such event happen....how many of us can still stick to staying positive?

In Kuching

Just heard the announcement on tv just now

The same old uncle gave out the announcement. Come to think of it, he must have a really good and blessed life. He's been giving out Ramadhan and Raya announcements eversince I was a kid. And still he looks just the same...

Anyways...

I can't believe Raya will be within 2 days. It's so fast

And as usual I'm celebrating Raya with my family and relatives in Kuching, Sarawak. Normally every year we celebrate in Kuching. Only few times we celebrate it in Perak.

So now, as I'm writing this, while watching Glee we are all starting to get busy preparing for Raya.

Unfortunately for me, I won't have the chance to sembahyang Raya... =(
(no need for me to say why, kan?)

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri to all muslims in the world. May all past faults and mistakes be forgotten..

Pelik la ko ni minat music cmni...

I'm writing this while listening to Mio Nemico (My enemy), the theme song from The Cave of The Golden Rose. Remember that story??? It was so long time ago, when I was wearing dark blue pinafore and learning to ride a bike and started my piano lessons kind of time. Real nostalgic! I remembered how my siblings and I waited excitedly in front of the television waiting for the story to start. And we didn't let anyone touch the channel button! ( time tu kitorg masih belum ada tv yg pakai remote) hehe..... come to think of it now, it brings back smiles and sweet memory. Macam orang tak betul palk aku senyum sorang-sorang depan laptop!

Anyways...not just that song, I'm listening to Glee songs as well as some musical songs from Mary Poppins and The Sound of Music. Yup, I'm crazy when it comes to musicals. Can't help it! Julie Andrews voice is superb! Lush and sweet! =)

Speaking of musicals, I remembered quite some time, a friend came up to me and asked this one question. Soalan yang bagi aku SENTAP gak la...the yellow ones are her dialogues

"Weh...ko ni pelik la..."
"Apsal? Apa aku buat?"
"Apsal ko minat sangat lagu-lagu koir, opera bagai ah? Bukan best pun. Boring kot aku dengar"
"Haha....bagi ko boring la..bagi aku lagu-lagu camtu best. Buat tenang hati aku...Favourite orang kan lain-lain"
"Oooo....kalau nak tenang hati apsal tak dengar lagu nasyid? lagu camtu ko tak minat lak. Lagu-lagu cmni gak ko pilih...mcm lagu gereja lak aku dengar"

Hahaha....I understood completely what this dear friend meant. Truth to be told, aku memang tak minat nasyid. And I always wondered why. Bukan aku tak pernah pikir sebab apa. Banyak kali kot. I tried to plant the interest, but in the end, after listening to it, I listened to West Side Story songs instead. Benda tu tak lama. I can spend a whole day repeating the same songs from the same musical story and never get tired of it...but it is a whole different story completely when it comes to other genres.

Seriously, memang aku agak sentap la ngan member aku ni. Tapi aku tak salahkan dia. In fact, I appreciate her honesty. Ye la...kawan dah lama sejak sekolah kot. And she knows me well. Time sekolah dia gak la yang melayan kerenah aku yang time tu tengah obses ngan the Phantom of The Opera and Chicago. Aku plak, in returning her favour have to layan kerenah dia yang gila AF time tu... Ahaks!

I don't have solid answers as to why I love these kind of music. But one thing I'm sure, I feel very at ease listening to it. It suits my soul. And I feel happy listening to it. I just cannot describe exactly how I feel but it's like I am in my own place... Faham-faham je la kan. Everyone will feel the same when having and listening to their favourite music. It's all about expressing yourself.

And maybe because all these songs reminded me of my happiest memory when I was in high school. And that was when I joined the choir club. There I can sing my heart out and nobody will judge you because everyone has their own version of voice. Plus, bila nyanyi ramai-ramai memang seronok time tu. Gelak ramai-ramai bila silap tune or silap lirik. Of course there's tension here and there but in the end of the day, everyone felt heavy to end the choir practice and go home. Aku time tu kalau boleh nak ponteng tuition semata-mata taknak miss practice.

So that's perhaps the answer. I like them because it reminds me of those memorable days in school where I'm with my friends enjoying being ourselves and didn't have to bother what other people think about us because at that time we know everyone is special in some way.

Addict

I am currently kind of obsessed with Les Choristes

I am a musical freak. Am proud to admit it

I've always love musicals ever since my piano teacher made me listen to the Phantom of The Opera during one of m

y lessons...

well...at that time I was only 9 and hardly know what a musical is...the only thing that interests me on that Phantom of the Opera is because I thought he looked really cool and macho wearing all that black cape and mask and always with a rose.

Ever since then, I've been trying to listen and watc

h as many musicals as I could... So far, I've watched some of the well known musicals...The Sound of Music, Annie, Chicago, Cats, Evita, Olive

r Twist, My Fair Lady, Moulin Rouge, Sweeney Todd...and some others that I cannot recall.

Now, I am a Gleek! Damn their voice are great! But High School Musical is not on my list...because I don't find them interesting enough...not like GLEE!! heh

And now, I'm so dying to watch Les Choristes! I've known about this french musical movie since High School...but until now I still don't have the chance to watch it. I listened to one of their songs and it totally swept me away with their 'haunting' lush voice!!!!!!! Arghhh!!! (screams excitedly)

I had the songs in my handphone

and have been playing in non-stop!

........

blog dah bersawang!!!!!!!!!!

ntah la...tak ada idea and mood nak tulis pasal apa...

kalau ada pun...macam tak perlu tulis...simpan je dalam hati...lama-lama hilang and everything will go back to normal... right???

WRONG!!

Not everything can be easily forgotten despite being already forgiven...and mostly it is because I refuse to forget...

sebab?

no reason...saja je nak benci-benci orang sampai mati....hahahaha!!!!

no...perhaps it can be used as a reminder...so that when anything similar happens again...I can be aware and be prepared for it...

Of course...people will say not all thing will end up the same...but what if?

Paranoid?
Maybe I am...and maybe its a good thing to be once in a while...

Because I'm sick of having to take care of people's feelings and try my best to be understanding and coax myself not to be angry or disappointed when they don't do the same towards me...

as selfish as it might sound...that is how i feel...kalau aku tunjuk pun...apa yang aku dapat?
nothingness....

erk! apa jadi tu 'simpan dalam hati and diam-diam je'???

hahaha....ni la yang jadi bila aku dah start menulis...all those crap come out flowing like water....heh

Asalnya nak tulis pasal bulan Puasa...hmm...

Anyways...hope it's not too late to wish Selamat Berpuasa to all muslims in the world! May this wonderful month of Ramadhan bring us closer to Allah S.W.T

And oh...All the best to my two friends...Shafiq and Azlan on their 5 months study in Adelaide, Australia...
You lucky blokes!!!!!!! have a blast there....but don't lose yourself...
I pray everything goes well and hope that you guys will always be successful, safe and healthy.

Aku nak koala sorang sekor dari korang! hahahaha!!

End.