hdahdahfavcaywyqfdwq

ergh!!!!!!!

bengang!!!

malas nak membebel panjang-panjang

whatever la

the colour purple

Today, my tumblr dashboard is decked in purple. A beautiful purple. And I kinda like it because purple is my favourite colour. I thought for quite a while the significance of the change from dark blue to purple...(nak kata birthday aku, lama lagi kot! =p), then I finally figured out what it is for.

The colour purple is to honour the youths who committed suicide due to the fact that they could not stand the abuse and sufferings they have of being gay, lesbian, transgender,...or in other words, different from most people in the world. These youths are taking their own lives at such a young age, and I have to say I am very sympathetic of them and their family, for having to lose a child, a brother or a sister in such a way.

Before I wish to say anything further, I would like to make something clear. I am against homosexuality. I am not okay with the idea of it. At all. For one major reason is that it is not only against law of nature, but also law of God. God created Adam to be with Hawa, and that union is what builds and brings out the global society that we have now. Perhaps some of you will say I'm a homophobic, a conservative or whatever, but I don't push away or discriminate or prejudice towards someone who is different from me.

I have friends who are lesbians, gays and also bisexuals, but I don't hate them. People tend to see the one worst thing in other people, instead of many beautiful things that they have inside. Why not we see that and embrace them as being who they are? I think it is their choice to be what they want to be...God never makes mistakes...and I deeply apologize for those who are offended by this post. Nevetheless, their choice do not deserve them any torment and abuse that they received everyday. Nobody deserves to feel bad and worthless. Even if you don't agree with their lifestyle, please respect and be tolerant. Nothing good ever comes out from hatred and anguish. It will just bring more harm than good. Tormenting them won't bring them straight, and the consequences of the negative acts they received is one thing that we should try to avoid. I love my gay and lesbians friends just like other friends. And sometimes, they turn out to be more understanding than others. When I'm with them I didn't think for a bit of them being different from me, and I didn't even think about the stand that I hold. All I think of that they are good friends, whom I always have fun talking and spending my times with.

Of course, that will make me look like a hypocrite. A total hypocrite. But the way I think, whenever they have problems, it's not about me, it's about them. And if a friend is what they need the most at that time, I'm more than willing and try to be the friend that they need. I don't mind being a hypocrite at that moment as long as my friend knows that he or she is not alone. Everyone deserves to feel wanted, loved and most of all respected. I think even if we oppose to it, don't give them a hard time, you never know in future when karma strikes. At that time, it will all be too late and you will have nobody to blame but yourself.

Love everyone despite their differences. Sometimes it is better to commit a little bad for greater good. If you refuse to do it due to religion or your personal principle you hold on to, then try and do it for the sake of humanity. Every human deserves to live in peace. And for those out there who are coming out, always bear in mind that somewhere in the world, there is someone who loves you. Keep a strong faith. It takes great courage to take your own lives, but it takes much greater courage to keep living.

*what I wrote is completely based on my personal opinion alone. I know most of the content will offend someone out there who read this, and for that I give you my most sincere apologies.

pfft!

crazy life these past few weeks...

busy...lazy...moody...you name it

and currently pissed and annoyed of the internet connection that is so slow macam siput pig...hello, can't you just go a little bit faster??? I really hate waiting and unable to watch Glee's latest episode really kills me!

anyway...speaking about kill...

had a mid term test just now...criminal procedure...

and hell yeah....I killed the paper!

not in a good way....i totally blew it off!

well...serves me right actually...for being unprepared...nobody to blame but myself...

but unable to do my best for test is not the thing that ticks me off tonight.

What really ticks me off....

are those who nonchalantly sneaking a.k.a copying from books...not just that...they pretend that they're actually thinking and doing the test when they are actually getting 'extra' help the back way... like it's no big deal...

hell yeah it's a big deal!!!

it's damn unfair! especially to those who really studied and prepared for the test...and it's most unfair and exasperating when u got off the hook! the lecturer didn't notice and then voila! in a few weeks or a months later, you will see you name next to a high score for the test...

of course...you'll be happy...and everyone will say...'wow...you're good,' 'pandainya kau...aku dapat sikit je,' when in fact you don't deserve the marks at all.

a big chicken egg or dinasour egg is what you deserve.

a friend of mine said..."takpe la...yang penting berkat, bukan markah"

not that I don't agree with him, but how many of us here gives a shit about berkat? It's what present that determines the future, but they don't think that way. People don't see implied 'berkat' we get, what they see is the marks shown and that's what they believe. That's where they make an impression from. Despite knowing that it's wrong, they still do it nonetheless, because they think first of people's impression rather than the 'berkat' they could've received.

Ah...but why am I blabbering for? Who would give a shit anyway? They'll be like 'oh, don't be mad or jealous at us because you don't have the guts to copy,'. Yup, perhaps I'm a coward, but at least I'm a coward with dignity. And I am ready and willing to accept the loss and failure that comes from my own action. That I think is what bravery really is in this situation...

But what the heck right? who would listen to me anyways? Just a grandma story that people read when they're bored....

whatever.

~wee~

I have Tumblr!!

And seriously getting addicted to it...

Love all the photos and quotes!!!

Hope I can make some just as wonderful as them.... =)

do have a visit to my tumblr blog...but be nice...since I'm a newbie...ahaks!!! =p

S.I.C.K

No, not that kind of sick...

no coughs, no flu, no fever, no pms or whatever....

just feeling sick.

SICK!!!!!!

for no reason why, this feeling suddenly came.

well, it's about time though...

lots of things....craps...shits (if i choose to write it out the way i feel right now)...happened and is happening...

perhaps when they happened, i was emotionless...didn't think of anything but to get it sorted out and be done with it.

now that it's coming back to me...i really feel so sick right now.

or in other words....

i'm just tired.

No, not exhausted

Tired...fed up...I'm done...that's enough...kind of tired.

sometimes when we thought things are going fine and going smooth....it turns out to be something that the mind made up as a diversion...to make us feel like everything's fine.

the mind lied. to its very own body.

nothing is EVER fine in the world.

though i always hear people say that the best way to live life is to think positive...deep down inside there's still doubt...

sometimes being too certain about something can cause bad ending....because that is the ending that is least expected.

when such event happen....how many of us can still stick to staying positive?

In Kuching

Just heard the announcement on tv just now

The same old uncle gave out the announcement. Come to think of it, he must have a really good and blessed life. He's been giving out Ramadhan and Raya announcements eversince I was a kid. And still he looks just the same...

Anyways...

I can't believe Raya will be within 2 days. It's so fast

And as usual I'm celebrating Raya with my family and relatives in Kuching, Sarawak. Normally every year we celebrate in Kuching. Only few times we celebrate it in Perak.

So now, as I'm writing this, while watching Glee we are all starting to get busy preparing for Raya.

Unfortunately for me, I won't have the chance to sembahyang Raya... =(
(no need for me to say why, kan?)

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri to all muslims in the world. May all past faults and mistakes be forgotten..

Pelik la ko ni minat music cmni...

I'm writing this while listening to Mio Nemico (My enemy), the theme song from The Cave of The Golden Rose. Remember that story??? It was so long time ago, when I was wearing dark blue pinafore and learning to ride a bike and started my piano lessons kind of time. Real nostalgic! I remembered how my siblings and I waited excitedly in front of the television waiting for the story to start. And we didn't let anyone touch the channel button! ( time tu kitorg masih belum ada tv yg pakai remote) hehe..... come to think of it now, it brings back smiles and sweet memory. Macam orang tak betul palk aku senyum sorang-sorang depan laptop!

Anyways...not just that song, I'm listening to Glee songs as well as some musical songs from Mary Poppins and The Sound of Music. Yup, I'm crazy when it comes to musicals. Can't help it! Julie Andrews voice is superb! Lush and sweet! =)

Speaking of musicals, I remembered quite some time, a friend came up to me and asked this one question. Soalan yang bagi aku SENTAP gak la...the yellow ones are her dialogues

"Weh...ko ni pelik la..."
"Apsal? Apa aku buat?"
"Apsal ko minat sangat lagu-lagu koir, opera bagai ah? Bukan best pun. Boring kot aku dengar"
"Haha....bagi ko boring la..bagi aku lagu-lagu camtu best. Buat tenang hati aku...Favourite orang kan lain-lain"
"Oooo....kalau nak tenang hati apsal tak dengar lagu nasyid? lagu camtu ko tak minat lak. Lagu-lagu cmni gak ko pilih...mcm lagu gereja lak aku dengar"

Hahaha....I understood completely what this dear friend meant. Truth to be told, aku memang tak minat nasyid. And I always wondered why. Bukan aku tak pernah pikir sebab apa. Banyak kali kot. I tried to plant the interest, but in the end, after listening to it, I listened to West Side Story songs instead. Benda tu tak lama. I can spend a whole day repeating the same songs from the same musical story and never get tired of it...but it is a whole different story completely when it comes to other genres.

Seriously, memang aku agak sentap la ngan member aku ni. Tapi aku tak salahkan dia. In fact, I appreciate her honesty. Ye la...kawan dah lama sejak sekolah kot. And she knows me well. Time sekolah dia gak la yang melayan kerenah aku yang time tu tengah obses ngan the Phantom of The Opera and Chicago. Aku plak, in returning her favour have to layan kerenah dia yang gila AF time tu... Ahaks!

I don't have solid answers as to why I love these kind of music. But one thing I'm sure, I feel very at ease listening to it. It suits my soul. And I feel happy listening to it. I just cannot describe exactly how I feel but it's like I am in my own place... Faham-faham je la kan. Everyone will feel the same when having and listening to their favourite music. It's all about expressing yourself.

And maybe because all these songs reminded me of my happiest memory when I was in high school. And that was when I joined the choir club. There I can sing my heart out and nobody will judge you because everyone has their own version of voice. Plus, bila nyanyi ramai-ramai memang seronok time tu. Gelak ramai-ramai bila silap tune or silap lirik. Of course there's tension here and there but in the end of the day, everyone felt heavy to end the choir practice and go home. Aku time tu kalau boleh nak ponteng tuition semata-mata taknak miss practice.

So that's perhaps the answer. I like them because it reminds me of those memorable days in school where I'm with my friends enjoying being ourselves and didn't have to bother what other people think about us because at that time we know everyone is special in some way.