Hello world...

It's been five days...

120 hours...

From Ipoh to Malacca...

From Malacca to KL...

From KL to Kajang...

It's time to head back home...to Ipoh

Don't know whether I feel happy...because that will mean less than a day for me to stay here before going back to uni...

And to tell the truth, I'm not ready to go back...


To face the lecturers...

Bothered by tutorials....

Stressed on assignments...

Strssed on tests...

But then...

That's life right?

No matter what happens, we have to go on...

Regardless of how gray or how sunny the day is...


The sun will come out nonetheless, promising another new day...

And we who welcome the day must appreciate and make the best of it..

Or at least try to...

The sun will come out tomorrow,
Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow
There'll be sun
Just thinking about tomorrow
Clears up all the cobwebs and the sorrow
Till there's none

When I'm stuck with a day that's gray and lonely
I just stick up my chin, and grin, and say
The sun will come out tomorrow
So you better hang on till tomorrow
Come what may

Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya
Tomorrow, you are always
A day away...

*Annie the Musical

-Tetibe plak teringat kt Mr. Phantom.. huhu...*blush blush*

Hey Mr. Phantom...*blush blush*

I called him Mr.Phantom

He's a friend of mine...

We've known each other for quite many years now...

we're not that close...but he's a dear friend..

Hardly sees him nowadays...

Sometimes we keep in touch via phonecalls...

Lasts for a few 10-15 minutes...never even reach half an hour...

But it's satisfying enough...just to know how he's doing...and to hear his voice... =)

Satisfying enough to make me smile and make my day beautiful and sunny...

Why I call him Mr.Phantom?

Coz he's just like the Phantom...

He hardly talks about himself...mostly he talks about things going on around him...

A secretive...I don't really know what he has in his mind...hardly anyone does...

Spends most of his time alone...unlike other friends...usually it's a boy's nature to go hang out till late nights doing their own guys-only stuff...

But not him...rather be at home....stays at home...doing what?

Nobody knows...but him and his family...

Mysterious kind of person too...

In a good way...=)

So much like the Phantom...my favourite character...



But apart from his weirdness....

Like the Phantom...

He is a sweet boy...

He's funny...selfless...

Caring too..he knows what is happening when I thought he doesn't give a damn about it

Yes...

He is different...

But that's what makes him special...

Nonetheless....

A friend is what I can be...and what he can be...


He can love...and be loved...

But like the Phantom...

He said...


He is at his best being only ONE...

All Babies Wish to be Born

Hello.

I seriously don't know what to write

Currently...


Still in Kajang...probably heading back to Ipoh later this evening.

Returning to uni Saturday...


A test on Monday...

Another test on Thursday...

Assignments to be submitted...countless...


My back is aching like hell right now...slept at the wrong side of the bed...or should I say...floor...

Visited a friend of mine...stayed with her for 2 days...we had fun! I bought new lenses and we took many pictures! Can't wait to upload it in Facebook. (facebook saje!)
Her mother was admitted to the hospital, so we spent most times there. A strong, courageous woman, I hope she will recover as soon as possible. And over there, I got to see so many cute + adorable + rosy + newly born babies! They are so beautiful! All of them..every single one. And looking at them into their little eyes is just so soothing.

I just don't understand why and how people have the heart to desert and abandon these little angels. Where is the love? Don't they feel any remorse or guilty upon abandoning them? It's a very despicable act to do! There should be a stringent law regarding to this. It's in pari materia with murder. To leave a baby to die...a BABY! what power does it have to safe himself? I hope that cruel act of them will haunt them for life. It's their own flesh and blood and they treat it nothing more like a burden or a useless thing that belongs among the rubbish and trash. What should we call them? Animals? I think devil is more appropriate. Don't they have minds to think? If their parents did what they did, they wouldn't be here to commit the crime. But no, their parents love them. They welcome the existence with such joy and a labour of love. Arrival of a child is one of the most happiest moment ever celebrated in the world. It completes a family. It completes everything. Why can't they see that? There is no forgiveness for such an act. There are many couple who wants a child so badly they are willing to give everything for it. Instead of abandoning, dumping or even burning, would it be much more noble to give it to a childless family, a family who will love the child and take great care of the it.

"Don't blow away the sparkling light that shines your life. The regret will be eternal..."

p/s: title post x byk berkaitan dengan apa yg ditulis. Harap maaf...

Mode: jiwang

Tetiber plak berjiwa sentimental...

As far as I can recall, it's been 3 years since my last relationship. It ended after one and a half year, and to tell the truth, apart from being devastated and heartbroken, I took the breakup rather in a positive way. Somehow, I felt relieved. Relieved for finally stop being someone I'm not, from being pretentious and from lying to myself and to him. Perhaps it was because I didn't feel as much love towards him as I did in the beginning of the relationship. Ye la...masa mula2 tu semua manis, semua cantik, bahagia sentiasa... And also because the breakup happened mutually, both he and I agreed to end it seeing that it may not go far. I thought of putting distance as another reason, but I think that is not one of the roots of the problem.

So, eversince that, I hardly find myself getting involved and getting myself interested in searching or starting for a new relationship. One thing that effects me as a result of the breakup is that I find myself having commitment issues. After the breakup, I had a lot of time reflecting and getting to know myself, something I should've done a long time ago. And I realized that I'm a person who gets bored easily and easily dissatisfied. I tend to compare things that I have with another person's. Which is not good. Really not good. I felt free after the breakup, and I have more time with myself and friends, where I used the chance to do things that I've always wanted to do. I prefer to stay single and try to achieve the dreams and ambitions as many as I can until the time comes for me to settle down

But the problem is, I'm afraid to settle down. Again, the issue is COMMITMENT. Not that I'm against the idea of marriage, but I'm afraid I cannot give my all or my best to my partner. Marriage is serious business, it's not like couple, where you can break up when you want to. Marriage is sacred, and it is supposed to be a relationship made in heaven. I don't want it to end up in hell. I'm afraid I will fail my duty as a wife and as a mother if I ever get married.

Now, life is so far so good. I have friends and family that supports me in most times. And I have done many things that I didn't expect I could. It was an adventurous and fun journey so far. Of course, it's not because of being single. I mean, you can be happy and do many things too despite that you are in a relationship. What I mean is that I have the time to explore myself. And instead of paying attention to another person, I start to love myself more. Something which I think is the most important thing to do first, before we are capable of loving and being in love.

Nevertheless, I don't deny the fact of missing the feeling of being in love. Love is a beautiful thing, and can make you be the most greatest or the most beautiful person ever. I miss of receiving sweet messages, or having long hours call at night, or having a person to nag, or to share problems with. I miss of feeling blissful that I'm loving a wonderful person who loves me back. Well, there are a few crushes here and there, but that's just what they can be; crushes. They don't share the same feeling as you do towards them and in most case, they don't know that we like them.

I just hope that when Mr. Right comes, he is the one who can lead me to a better path than where I am standing at now. The one who accepts me as ordinary as I am and the one who notice my dull self amongst all the outstanding ones. But to have a person like that, I have to find my own sparkles first.

p/s: this post is written in conjunction of Valentine's Day. And this is dedicated to all my friends who have found their love. I have nothing but happiness to each and every one of you. Kahwin nnti jgn lupe jemput ye...hehe..

Lovers and Limau

I cannot recall how many bijik limau have entered into my stomach eversince my arrival home to Ipoh. Thankfully, I haven't suffered from any sore throat yet. Speaking of that, poor dearest dad is losing his voice for eating too much limau and salted peanuts. Work adds an extra spice to the sore.

Today is the Chinese New Year celebration. Everywhere looks merry and bright with the red lanterns and crates of oranges and lion, tiger and dragon dances. It is a real celebration. Everyone is having a wonderful time enjoying the celebration. People of every race join along to make the celebration more meaningful and memorable. For a day, the world seems to be a happy and wonderful place to live.

Today too, is Valentine's Day. Yes, day for lovers to celebrate. Besides the oranges and the lanterns, there are heart shapes balloons, bouquets of roses, boxes of heart shaped chocolates and big valentine's day card. Everywhere we can see couples walking around, having a sweet moments together and enjoying every minute, every seconds that passed. For a single girl like me, Valentine's day is one day that is not in my calendar. I just don't celebrate Valentine's Day like most people do. Even back at the time when I once been in a relationship, we didn't celebrate Valentine's Day. For one thing is because we were separated. (long distance relationship la katakan). Another thing is that I don't find it necessary to celebrate. Perhaps my sort of thinking is a way different angle than others, but to me, everyday is special. Everyday we can celebrate with our loved one. Why must we choose one day to have an extra celebration with the person we love? If he or she is really special and meaningful to us, then we will be appreciating them everyday and will take every seconds that counts as special and be thankful for having the chance to be with our loved one by our side.

I remembered back in school days, we celebrated Valentine's Day. But in a different Convent-girl style. Some classes will be organizing a Request and we will send those request to our friends around the school. The request can be of anything; chocolates, lollipops, balloons, flowers and even coloured sands kept in cute glass bottles. There were also classes who organized requests to be sent to other school, the ones where the young cute boys were! And normally, that kind of requests are the ones that sell the most. I still remembered I wanted to send one chocolate request to my crush at that time, but due to my unknowing of what class he was in, the request remain unsent. It was a sweet memory though, and I still blushed at the thought of him. Wondered what he's doing now????

ok..ok...distraction! pull back! pull back!

Still, it doesn't mean that everyone who celebrates Valentines are not good people. I mean, we have our rights and our own way of showing our affection. Still, one important, vital thing to be kept in mind; LIMITS! Yes, LIMITS! You can be as hopelessly romantic as you want, you can write your lover's name in the clouds, you can declare the love in Hitz FM or Sinar FM or whatever radio station in Malaysia, but one thing must be kept in mind: DO NOT PERFORM! Abd perform here means not doing any acts that is only reserved for married couple. You people are old enough to understand, right? In easier words, don't have sex before marriage people. What good will it get? Sure, you might be above cloud nine, but a few months later you'd wished you are six feet under.

Remember most importantly, God and family. Their love is the utmost of all. Prior them first, before you want to prior others. If we hold firm on that principle, I'm sure the love will bloom its best as a new day approaches.

damn!

Who am i kidding?

I'm making a complete fool of myself.

This is not supposed to happen...

shit i feel so stupid!

How can this happen????




can't lie to myself...





Can't run from it....






Can't run from the truth...




The truth....

I AM WORRIED...

the 2 weeks adventure

Wow..been a while since I last post anything. Been busy. And this time, I mean REALLY busy. For the past 2 weeks my hands were tied so tightly that it brought sore not only to those poor dainty fingers, but also to the mind, body and sou. Yup. Last 2 weeks has been hell...HELL i Tell You! haha..(overacting).

There's so much things to commit to and how I wished I had the power to duplicate myself. Then I have less things to worry about. There were the dinner performances, then the test, the assignments, and the mooting. I still feel guilty for unable to give hundred percent commitment to all, but thankfully, they are considerate and understanding enough...(syg korg!)

Nevertheless, despite the tension and the lack of sleep and the mood swings, the 2 weeks were what I considered as an adventure. A rare adventure that I think I will ever experience it for the second time. They were full of sweet and joyful moments; which I prefer to look at rather than the bitter incidents that happened.

The best thing ever among all is the performance. I was involved in 3 performances for the Law Society Annual Dinner, where I played a small part as a keyboardist. It was tough, having to balance to practice 5 songs along with the assignments and the test and the mooting. Plus, it was my very first performance in front of a huge, important crowd, which made the butterflies in my stomach flit faster! I thought "what have i gotten myself into?" throughout the time, I kept thinking of how I will disappoint and embarrass my friends if made a blunder...and that caused me to be more nervous than ever. And it's not good to my health, especially in terms of hormones..(haha)

However, when the day comes, we made it! We nailed it! The night was a blast and a success! There were errors here and there during the performances, but we worked as one and managed to cover the defects. (apa yg penting? kerjaaaasaaamaaa!!!!). It was a memory that I kept inside my 'best memory' list. And everyone had a great time. The night was beautiful.

Still, with good comes bad right? I didn't perform as well as I did during the test. Well, that is expected when you only have one day to rad 2 topics and memorise the cases. And the assignments too, I didn't perform well during the presentation.

Nonetheless, like Dr. Ahmad Masum said; we have to see on both side of the coin. At one side of the coin. it was a wonderful adventure and a worthful challenge to me. On another side, it affects my performance academically. And as I said before, we have choices. The way I see it, I think the 2 weeks adventure was a wonderful way of learning and exploring life and moulding my inner self.

I have no regrets..