saje je...

kmk sik tauk kenak kinek tuk slalu jak sik best. Cam sik nyaman jak rasa ati tok. Nang slalu cmtuk, tapi nk tok kmk rasa sik mcm nak dolok pun. Sik suka kamek mun naktuk dtg...polah kamek sik ada mood. Mun dh sikda mood, ya lah start mek jd malas, sik mok polah apa yg patut di polah. Geram juak mun bnda tok jadi...smpei ngembak ke tido.

banyak bnda jadi sem tok. Bnda yg kmk sik mauk ya lah yg jadi. contohnya, ada la kmk suk rah sorg nemiak tok...tp nk tok dh lamak dh...masalahnya nya dtg balit. Bila kmk dh lupak mauk juak nya dtg...nang sengaja mok polah susah. Nya sik tauk kmk sook rah nya...sikda urang tauk pun...kmk sik penah padah rah urang. Bnda cmtuk nang kmk simpan dirikpun. sik mok mek padah rah urang...susah mok cayak urang kinek tok. Dolok kamek cayak gilak daknya polah juak nak sik bait rah kmk...start sia kmk pikir..iboh jak padah rah urang papa...daknya sik tauk, kmk pun sik susah. pasya ada test agik. Sik lamak gik, agik 2 mnggu. Kmk sik polah papa gik. bpk mak mek dh padah byk kali nyuruh mek stadi, tp mek malas juak. sigek gik masalah kmk...sik boleh mok paksa dirik tuk stadi...mcm susah gilak nak ya. dh la abis lambat...brapa igek jak paper kmk tp sik bole balit awal....sik ku suka...huhu

kemisi pn skjp jak...ingt tek mok polah keja masa kemisi...tp sik smpt. pas jak program kmk ya balit trus sarawak tinggal rumah ninek kmk. ni mok polah keja rah sia? sinun bukan sama cm nk rah sitok. kenak nya mok bukak awal gilak kah? eran na kmk eh. mauk duit lah ya kali...mun masa kmkurg balit suma ok, sik hal juak. kelak mesti ada yg sik kenak...

sem tok nang best...tp slalunya mesti nya abis cmtok...sik best gilak.

..

If ever someone is to ask me what I always think about...(apa yg ak slalu fikirkan)
...well...there is one answer...and I'm afraid this one has been stuck to me for a long time now...


Will I be remembered when I die???

Numb

I miss them...

I miss my brother

I miss my sister

Accepting the Hated

Have u ever thought of this thing? Why is it when the things that we don't want to happen to us happens? Regardless of how we detest them. Have u ever had that experience?

This always happens to me. Most of the time, I will hope for something and wish to avoid another. But in the end, it's the one that I've been trying to avoid is what I receive and what I have to live with. I have to say that it's frustrating. VERY frustrating. It's as though I don't deserve to have the things that I want. Of course, there are some occasions where I have what I've wished for. Nevertheless, if compared to the ones that I don't want, they happen more often that the former. I always wondered, why i have to take all these? The ones I don't like is the one that I'll get. And the ones that I really want, isn't an inch closer to me. Again, it's frustrating.

This has been in my mind for a very long time. It has been so long that I thought that I dont deserve to get what I wished for. It made me thought that I'm not supposed to hold any dreams or hopes of my own because in the end, the otherwise happens.

But it wasn't until recently that I thought that perhaps that is not the main reasons why all that happens. Perhaps it was my way of looking at them was wrong. I didn't see the silver lining behind the clouds. All I see were clouds that were gloomy and brings nothing but sadness and disappointment. I forgot one utmost important thing. All these happens for a reason. And most of all, they all happens because it was all in God's fate that He has written even before anything existed. Nothing happens without God's will and permission. And just like a phrase; setiap yg berlaku ada hikmahnya, it applies to everything that happened throughout my 21 years of living. Instead treating it in a bad way, I should see it in the positive way. Of course, the things that I planned and I wanted doesn't happen as I wanted and I was replaced by something I refuse.

Actually, it was those refused and despised things that exposed me more on life. I get to see the good side of them. If it involves an individual, I get to know the person better, and learn about their goodness inside that I don't see before. Perhaps they don't bring out the best in me, but they definitely make me a better person that I would've been had I not received the ones that I hate. Sometimes, the things we hate is the things that will be the most important things in our lives.

Kudos!

Success!! that is one of the many thousands of words that I can describe on our presentation today. Remember the post that I wrote about us going from one bridal shop to one bridal shop to make this assignment? Well, today is the presentation.

It was a satisfying and a job well done by all of us. We won't be able to make the presentation as this if it weren't for the support and cooperation from all members... Yay to all of you!

During the making, it was a tiring and stressful journey. We had to cope with many things; financially, mentally, sometimes the weather was not friendly to help us in doing this project and there were many times where technology too is jealous of seeing us accomplishing the project. Yet, we managed to do it. And it was far beyond my expectation. I won't say we could've done better if we were given more time, no, because this is the BEST result of all our perseverence, patience, cooperation, enthusiasm and hardwork.

So far, this is the assignment that I enjoyed the most throughout my 2 years in uni. We can say anything that we want from this experience, but I only have one thing to say. Working is much better when we do it out of enjoyment, spontaneous, and consideration. Indeed, it requires hard work, but we should welcome the hard work as a friend and not as a burden. Only then we won't be stressful and too much tension. Perfection is not the big matter here because when we combine it all up, the result is as perfect as it can be.

Kudos and congratulations to all members of family law for this success of ours!! It was a very memorable assignment. =)

p/s: to miemi, zahid, atiah, za, dila, dayat, amal, ila and the only ladybug among the flowers, ijai

temporary relieve

short post...

I AM SO RELIEVED MY ADMIN LAW ASSIGNMENTS ARE DONE AND SUBMITTED!!!!!!!!!!!!

now..it's the family law presentation and land law case review...
hope we can give our best shot for the family presentation... =)

should i?

recently, i have been thinking of doing something that i haven't done in a long time. I guess i kind of miss it. It brings back all reminiscence of yesterdays whenever i thought about this. I thought of doing it again now, but i'm not sure whether it is a good idea.

i miss writing. Writing here as in writing a story. Any story at all. Writing has been my interest since a long time ago. When this interest came, I can write anything that comes to mind; funny, love, mystery, friendship, and sometimes poetry. I remembered when I was in high school. I wrote a story that i gave my friends to read it. It took 5 exercise books to complete the story. Although it's embarrassing to let people read, but it's a satisfaction to see that they enjoy reading it. Throughout my highschool, I've written 3 stories. But the other two I didn't let anyone read it as I think it's too ridiculous to be read. When I'm bored, I read them myself and add some more when I have the idea of continuing it. There was once where my father accidentally read one of my self-declared novel (hehe!) and he suggested it to be published. I said NO WAY!!! It's too much a big step to have it published. I'm not that daring to have my story to be read by public. Argh!

Now, I have that crave of writing again, but the problem is that the interest is not as strong as what I used to have before. Whenever I write and I read it all, I don't have the idea or the crave to continue it. I guess that it has been such a long time and perhaps I've disposed that interest of mine under my conscious. Well, just like people say, as we get older, we are turning into another person day by day that we have forgotten who we were once and the things that we used to do that makes us happy doesn't seem to work its magic on us anymore. Regardless, I refuse to ignore this intention of mine. At least it'll be a therapy for me and who knows I may have the courage to make it published! (ceh! berangan lebih!)

SH3=shhh

ntah...xtau nk ckp pe...

sometimes prudent silence is wise...rather than telling our opinion and ended up making someone offended...

do take note that this has nothing to do with anyone or anything that happen...i just feel like writing but i don't know what to write...huhu...plus i think that what i wrote mostly is about complaining about everything...tak baik ooo....heh heh...=p

incidentally, i managed to complete most of the assignments already...but still...can't help feeling worried of not being able to complete all upon submission...huhu...the feeling of insecurity is always around...(i tension la..xleh concentrate...nyiah! sempat lg nk kenakan org....jhtnyer kamu ni!)

this picture is not related...not generally...

The end of one

Finally, the test is over. Well, it's not a satisfactory one, but I have to say that I'm quite proud of myself for being able to answer all. Despite that I have flu and headaches these few days and that I don't have the enough days to spend to read the notes. (perasan!)

As usual, after the test, I always knew that I can do it better. It's always like that. I hardly went out of the exam room being very satisfied and confident of what I've written down for my exam questions. But then, it all comes to one conclusion: that is the best that I can do. That is all that my mind can keep in store and can pour out during that duration of time. We may have the same brain shape but we have difference in understanding and in storing what we have read. And that is the best that I can give after all those time spent revising and studying. Well, like people always say; when u study a lot, you give out a lot, when you study moderate, what you give will also be moderate, unless of course if u bring some help from the outside or bring a cat to copy a.k.a copy cat(haha...x masuk akal).

Anyways, what has passed has passed. Now its up to the lecturer to give those marks. The thing that I can do now is to settle once and for all my pending assignments and force myself to study for finals! Study!! Aim to make it to dean's list this semester! (ceh...sbnrnyer setiap sem target cmtu tp x dpt2 gak). Good luck for me! All the best to me! and to everyone too!

Otak dah tepu

This is sooooo wrong! Girl, you have a test. What are you doing typing all these???? Go back! shut the laptop! Go read those loads and hard-to-understand-because-the-writing-is-so-bad notes of yours!!!!

OMG…I just realized that I’m so tied up with assignments pending that need to be completed upon submitting. This is just another same situation, same lesson of do not procrastinate and yet I’m ignoring them all. Well, serves u right! padan muka kena wat banyak keje. Instead of doing my revision for my final exam (ceh..poyo je) I have to finish up all assignments and projects. The target: at least complete three assignments before saturday. Ok, roll on your sleeves…time to get to work!

Assignments not supposed to be pending and yet they are thanks to my laziness:

-Public International Law (UN Independence over the Veto powers)

-Equity (specific performance)

-Land Law (case review). Thanks for making it more complicated by not having any facts of the case written on it. I just L.O.V.E to do some extra work.

-Family Law (MUST get that video done and MUST do it as creative as we can). This is the time where our hidden talent of acting and directing is exposed. We can’t help being humble but talented… (hahaha…poyo siot)

-Administrative Law (tutorials). If you want some bonus marks, then those must be done.

And the best thing is, all must be submitted next week!! Boy am I going to have a fun weekend this week stuffing my head with knowledge and business. At least it’s an inch experience of what I’m going to have to face when I start to work in future. Last but not least, I just wanna say this to myself; good luck with all those work! It’ll definitely do you good! And for once in your lifetime, DO NOT PROCRASTINATE IN FUTURE

I demand an explanation

i just dont get it... my uni, hereinafter referred to uu, as far as i'm concerned is one filthy rich uni. Heck, we have an animal farm, our own grand-prix track(ceh!), a huge multi purpose gym(which hardly opens now) and even a big, green and lonely golf course, but they can't seem to fix one small water problem???

man, it was really difficult for us, especially when we have morning classes. Imagine 4 blocks have no water and we have to go up and down to the other block just to get a shower and other things related. It's a nuisance, and a waste of time, considering that we have to rush before the bathrooms are full with other students who go there for the same intention. And since we are all girls, you can just understand how girls take their showers. It can take up to 30 minutes...(these are facts).

of course i want to complain about this. We have our rights! Regardless of how busy the uu staffs are, the problem must be taken seriously. I don't think repairing what's broken at the water tank (rumah air in BM) can take as much cost as it takes to build a golf course. Water is essential la wei...they look like they are ignorant and less considerate on this. Sure, there's a convocation going on, and that's the reason why there is water problem (yeah right!) but don't just focus on one event and neglected the others. Trying so hard to impress the visitors when your students are facing problems. Is that a good management for a uni?????

I just don't get it!!!!! I demand an explanation...

Somethng to Ponder

How is it that people can be so nonchalant about some things? They prefer to take it lightly than to do the very best to reach the best result, since they know that that is the responsibility they have to take.

I see many people who acted like that. And this gets worse when it involves people and society. Hello, pls realise that you have a commitment as soon as you've decided to make something or to organize something for the society. So don't just do like it's not a big deal! Move those lazy fat ass of yours! BUatla keje elok2..if there's any problems or changes on the event pls alert and inform those involved. The least u can do is text a message. (bkn mahal pn). In the end, instead of you, other people have to bear the cause and the embarrassment. Don't u ever give any thought or any damn about that?? I really wish you can feel how those people feel. Maybe then it will open your damn eyes..

Sometimes, I tried to be like one of them. You know, not take some things seriously. But I can't. Because I think that it will make other people suffer, and I don't want that to happen to me too if ever the tables have turned. We are not living alone. We live in a society where we depend on each other. So, respect is important regardless of what they stand in the public eye. So as consideration, thoughtfulness and sympathy to those who are unfortunate. When I realisec I failed to be one, I started thinking, am I the one who is the problematic one? Or is it the people are not being conscious enough about how people feel?

I cannot put my finger on it. Is life always this complicated??..I cannot be sure. In fact, maybe I can never be sure...

p/s: had my first battle of the band today...and hell i enjoyed it...although it's not the best we can do. Note that this is related with the post